me kay cooke

What Can’t You Do?

How do you expand your child’s capacity for a ‘can do’ attitude?

Why is this important? Because when your child or teen says “I can’t…(eat that/do that/learn that)” it prevents them exploring what they can do.

Hearing someone declare a limitation ahead of real time capability-testing can be frustrating because it’s a sloppy recall of a failure-memory rather than imagineering-success. If you believe their ‘can’t’ you accept their limitation. Yet trying to persuade them that they ‘can’ do it (they ARE capable after all) so often engages a battle that sends them into the justification corner.

Helping children and young people experience more in life, not less, means they get to expand their mental map of what they can do with their brain.

This example from our Happy Brain programme, coaches a 10 year old child through an experience of high value to them. Gaming is the child’s value.  We’ll call the child Joseph.

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Sensory Processing

senses2Making distinctions through your 5 SENSES – what you see, hear, touch, smell, taste.

The quality of what we call ‘sensory processing’ is really important to how you think, feel and behave because throughout our lives, we build and modify sensory codes inside our minds that help us to navigate the world. It’s how we build our map of the world – things to avoid and things to move towards. Some people’s mental maps enable them to be courageous and bold (e.g. explorers) while other people’s mental maps leave them scared and afraid (e.g. sleeping all day).

My job is to help people build strong robust mental mapswith codes that bring success, happiness and fulfillment. Does that make sense to you?

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Percy Manages Metaphor

Percy explained that he had been getting angry with people at work.

As manager of a team, he needed his people to follow instruction and deliver results. The trigger to his getting angry was people not doing what he had asked of them which led to increasing frustration, which then led to anger. Underpinning his anger was something of high value to him – feeling understood.

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Stanley Tool Kit

 

Stanley arrived for his first coaching session as a miserable, middle aged, middle manager with a mind full of dread at the thought of going into the office to work each day.
Breakfasts were a torture ground of intense imagination where, he visualised each day ahead as a nightmare to avoid. Unsurprisingly most days in the office delivered much of what he feared, thus confirming his thinking bias. He felt hopeless.

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Lonely Lana Changes Her Mind

Good quality thinking generates good feelings which bring choices in what you do.

14 year old Lana was fed up of feeling left out of a group of girls at her new school.

Moving schools can be tough at any age and Lana, one term in, was yearning for the feelings she used to associate with her old group of pals.

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More Simple Motivation

Good quality thinking generates good feelings which bring choices in what you do.

When you feel you have choice you are more likely to feel motivated.

Let’s look at what happens when you focus on long-term goals and feeling good when planning (e.g. being a strong, healthy sportsperson, or having many study choices at university) keeps your motivation steady, which enables you to take feedback from the past performances to feed forward and make adjustments for the next time. We call this continual improvement.

 

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NLP First Aid

As first ‘mum’ into the emergency room following a car crash involving my son and his two mates, I was fortunately able to quickly know that (despite blood and bruising) my son was going to be OK. However it was also apparent that one of the other boys (Chris) was in quite a bad way.
 

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