me kay cooke

BIC MIND STRETCH

Have you ever found yourself getting irritated with someone? Perhaps even saying ‘you really annoy me’ or similar? Then feelings and words escalate into friction, or worse?

Wouldn’t it be great to take a different perspective and maybe say something less inflammatory like “I am feeling annoyed by your loud voice, which is a shame because I’m always really impressed when I hear your calm tone.”

Can you imagine how using this skill might diffuse a difficult situation?

The following exercise invites you to stretch your communication skills, explore smarter ways to think, and therefore behave with options – if that would be useful?

This involves exploring (stretching) ideas about the information received through your 5 senses. It expands options through both positive and negative thinking frames and re-frames.

Many people find distinguishing fact from opinion a valuable stretch, as is separating intention from behaviour.

The exercise requires a thought field of both internal (with self) and external dialogue (with others).

BIC = BEHAVIOUR – INSIGHT – COMPLIMENT

Don’t read on unless you want to play!

BEHAVIOUR

5 behaviours I have enjoyed – seeing/hearing/feeling/tasting/smelling – in the past month:

E.G. “I like to -hear – you humming …”

 My own

A loved one’s

A colleague’s

5 behaviours I have not enjoyed – seeing/hearing/feeling/tasting/smelling – in the past month:

E.G. “I don’t like to – hear – your shouting voice …”

My own

A loved one’s

A colleague’s

INSIGHT

Looking behind each ‘behaviour’:

Ask yourself “what might the intention be for behaving like this?”

E.G.

Calmness may underpin humming

Frustration may underpin shouting

My own

A loved one’s

A colleague’s

COMPLIMENT

EASY COMPLIMENT

Consider one ‘compliment’ you could give to each of these people – stated as personal opinion (not as a fact) and set in kindness, directing the brain towards a positive filter. E.G. I like to hear you humming …

Myself

A loved one

A colleague

SMART COMPLIMENT

Flip the behaviour you don’t like the (sensory) experience of (e.g. “I don’t like to hear you shouting”) into a compliment.

E.G. “I don’t like to hear you shouting” BECOMES “I do like to hear your calm voice”

Myself

A loved one

A colleague

I’m wondering how many more layers of communication you can perceive and stretch through in order to think-feel-do better results and expand your range of responses to the world around us?

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